Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
