And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
