Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
it was like eating out sand paper
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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