I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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