did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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