It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
