Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
