i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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