If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
