you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I believe in your delicious
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
