Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
