is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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