So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Are we still banned from the library?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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