I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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