Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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