I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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