So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
