Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
