Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
too bad you live with your parents still
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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