dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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