Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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