Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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