the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
