I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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