I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
