why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
