Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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