You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
