hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
