Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
