her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
where does the pee come out of this thing
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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