I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
