This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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