You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
