yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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