just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
