Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
