I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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