turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
