it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
