I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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