I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
