no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
