So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
