Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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