Can Purell be used as lube?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
