you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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