he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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