He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
