Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
not ubering you a puppy
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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